Captain’s Challenge: Round 18, skippers to target and avoid

Ladies and sirs. Hello!

I’m back. Here I am.

Firstly. Some news. COVID.

And yes. Prince Nicho and I both had a positive RAT. On the same day. And I am not kidding – I got my positive test result literally minutes before all the breaking news about Prince Nicho’s positive test result blasted out across the twittersphere and ruined many a SuperCoacher’s Round 17 plans.

You see. Me and Nicho. We’re in-sync. If only my hair looked that good wet.

And before you say it, no, I did not manage to sneak into the sheds in Round 16 to smear his hair in VO5 Wet Look Gel, so no I did not actually catch it off him. This is because I was too busy sampling illegal rum for our End of Season Support Group Party with 10 other gals at a modern-day version of a tuppaware party.

But an update! And I am free! So gloriously, wonderfully free! Looking at that negative test result was my most joyous moment on earth. I imagine that must be how it feels to have a baby. And look what I created! Look what my body made! A negative test result! It is mine! I created it! I will name you Novid…

Now, I do have one tip for getting through the COVID-iso period of being stuck at home as you’re staring out at the glorious outdoors and contemplating whether you should make your fifth jigsaw puzzle or read your 500^th book:

Try not to live next door to a kid with a recorder and a penchant for Three Blind Mice.

Follow me for more top tips on how to navigate the iso-life!

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On to our Captain Congratulations and I think we must just give the Captain Congratulations to one of the greatest SuperCoach brains of all time – that being of course, The SC Spy, who Sir Captained Moses for his glorious 230 Sir Captain points. And surely this man has a crystal ball and please may I borrow it sometime please Sir SC Spy kind sir?

And to the captains we go!

But first-up, a note. There are a whole bunch of players you can chuck the VC on this week if your heart should so desire. BUT some of these likely options are better than others…

So, let’s crack open those Friday beers, and get stuck into our analysis with

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The Friday Night Vice Captains

Prince Nicho Hynes

Okay the man has a three-round average of 84 including two 96’s in his last two games. BUT – coming off COVID against the Cowboys in Cowboys territory, I’m quite unsure about our Prince as a Vice Captaincy option. Because:

1. It is not raining in Townsville tonight so we must minus 40 – 60 potential points off his probable score which is maths and possibly calculus.
2. As somebody who finally got the COVID smackdown – I cannot comprehend how, HOW these players come back and play a couple of days later. Obviously they are elite athletes and I am not, but wow. Right now I sound like a 87 year old who’s been smoking a pack a day, every day, since the day I turned 5…
3. I traded him out for the Glorious Mullet and his five Bye Round points. So I am drenched in salt and therefore he cannot possibly be a VC choice.

Scotty D

Well, well. Scotty D has been a revelation this season. And for those lucky enough to own him, you can by all means VC the man vs the Sharks in Townsville tonight.

With a 76-point three-round average, kicking goals this weekend, and showing us this season that he has the potential to go very, very large – pop that VC on him if your heart so desires.

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Moses

Okay, but Moses channelling biblical Moses from the history books – and leading his SC faithful to the promised land of 230 Sir Captaincy points, means we can’t ignore him as a VC option this round.

Vs the Tigers he scored a try, an assist, a couple of linebreaks, and a whole bunch of goals.

Playing my Warriors tonight – I’ll take a punt on Moses continuing that form and going large. VC with confidence.

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Our Saturday Vice Captain (or Captain)

Manu

Well, here’s a bloke who’s known to have a ton or two in him.

Manu vs the Dragons.

I’m expecting he’ll go all sorts of nuts and whack us out at least a ton.

When he played the Dragons back in Round 7, he did indeed, whack us out a ton – including a try and THREE linebreaks.

And the man has a five-round average of 91 and boy does he love holding on to that ball which is just fabulous for us owners!

You can even Sir Captain him if you should so very, very please.

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Our Sunday Special

Where we present our favourite Sir Captain of Round 18:

Lil Papi

Oh, but Glorious Mullet. What happened??

Why you do us like that?

Right up until the 79^th minute last Thursday night, I held the faith that you were going to somehow pull something out of the bag – like go on a unicorn rampage and get me a ton.

And then you just didn’t.

And as somebody who has already sold my soul this season and now does not have a soul to bargain for players I can’t afford, I had to instead sell my Prince in order to get you back in King.

And you did not do Kingly things, and you are a bit broken which is sad, and my heart is absolutely shattered.

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BUT

I cannot get the 100 points our Glorious Mullet scored in 7 minutes vs Manly in Round 16 out of my head, and the fact that he has a 96-point average – and so I see him as a very viable Captaincy option this round in a Sunday arvo match up in Melbourne.

Now last time the Storm played the Raiders, Lil Papi only scored 39 points. But do not let this dissuade you.

Because the Storm will come out swinging on Sunday with a major point to prove.

Absolutely.

And Harry and Munster and co should all be back too.

So as long as he can somehow play through these niggles and injuries, and Melbourne Turn. TF. UP – we cannot forgo him as one of the top Sir Captaincy choices this weekend.

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Abracadabra… you can try and pull a Bunny out of a hat with these Captain Riskys

As the last match of the Round, and playing the Bulldogs, I truly believe you can throw caution to the wind and chuck a risky Captaincy on one of these guys:

Latrell

I mean, the man has come back from injury absolutely swinging and swaggering with 99 and 93 points in his first two rounds back. He CANNOT be ignored. The Bunnies just look a whole different team with him on the field!

Dishing out try assists and line break assists and doing all the things including kicking about a million points in goals – if you own the great man, you must at least consider that Captaincy!

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AJ

And who’s normally on the receiving end of those Latrell assists I ask you?

Why, only my main man AJ who I have completely forgiven for pulling out on me last week during the bye – (even though he cost me around 2000 places and a whole lot of hurt).

Two weeks ago, I oracalised that he would be the Captain Risky of the Round 16 and score us all a sweet ton.

And he bloody well did it. And of course, I did not Sir Captain him because this is the 2022 SC season where I make all the bad choices, and not the 2021 SC season when the SC Gods showered me rainbow unicorns and pure luck.

Anyway, this week – this week I believe AJ’ll score us another ton because it is a mathematical probability as he is in the very spot that saw Kennar score THREE tries last week, and like all classic wingercoasters, AJ loves to take you on an up and down ride – and this week is an up week.

Verdict

It is 2.30pm on Friday afternoon and I am sitting here completely unsure who I am going to Vice Captain. Or Captain. Or who I’m going to trade in. Or what I’m going to have for dinner tonight.

I’m just in that sort of MOOD friends.

This is a tough, tough old week for decision making.

I’m thinking I’ll VC Manu and take a risk on The Glorious Mullet feeling all gloriously glorious and doing Mullet King-things this round.

But I am a glasshouse of indecisive emotion.

Now ladies and sirs.

I have been put on a ban.

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Tim has expressly forbidden me to mention the Q word.

He cleared the boundaries of what was acceptable with me the other night.

So, I am allowed to say “wow what an absolute spectacle of a game and rugba league is the greatest game on earth!”

But I am not allowed to say, “wow what an absolute spectacle of a game and Queensland is the greatest sporting team on earth, and take a bow Ben Hunt and DCE and Ponga and Dearden and Patty C you glorious beautiful man, and the Queensland spirit is so strong how they just rose to the occasion even though they lost Munster and Tuilagi and Collins and future Immortal Cobbo, and how good was that sea of maroon at Suncorp, and thank God the drainage system held up under all those tears of blue.

I am not allowed to say things like that.

Tim said.

So, I won’t.

Instead, I will say that whoever you choose to Captain this week, I hope he absolutely tons up for you and that your weekend is just glorious whatever it is that you do.

Until next week…

Clementine xxx