Hahahah last week I seemed extremely confident that no matter what happened, I would be finishing in the top 10k…

Oh, how funny this game can be.

Cam Guthrie (55) injured, Jack Crisp (61) shi* as always, Jordan Dawson (74) under par, and Stephen Coniglio (71) just nowhere near it.

All of this led to a shameful 2292, moving me down 1655 rankings to finish at 10,305^th for the year. What a terrible, terrible season.

To the 10,304 people better than me this year, congratulations! But wipe that smug smile off ya faces, because I’m coming for you next year!

Genuinely though, it was a seriously tough year for SuperCoach, so be proud no matter what rank you finished up on.

Some more congrats must go to my brother – and fellow SC Playbook contributor – Eddie, who managed to end the season at 323^rd… Unbelievable stuff.

Anyway, let’s get into the wrap!

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Brisbane v Melbourne

Another pretty irrelevant SuperCoach night for the Lions who just received a massive reality shock at the hands of the reigning premiers.

Lachie Neale (104) was just one of two to ton up, as he completed yet another outstanding year, certainly cementing himself in the Brownlow discussion.

I won’t comment on the whole Zorko/Petty thing, but I will just say that in any scenario in life there is always a line, and unfortunately Dayne Zorko (70) crossed it. Maybe he should focus on being a better leader, player, husband, father, and all-round good bloke… I fear I’ve said too much, time to move on!

As always, Christian Petracca (117) and Clayton Oliver (118) brought their own footy to the game and dominated as per.

Despite his 27 touches, Angus Brayshaw (83) and his uncharacteristic 44% disposal efficiency definitely would have hurt his owners in their respective grand finals.

Luke Jackson (130) was on track for a HUGE score until he did some damage to his knee in the third quarter, subsequently forcing him to be subbed out in the fourth. Let’s just hope it’s not too serious.

Kozzie Pickett (92) scored four of the most ridiculous goals I’ve ever seen, potentially even rivalling Luis Suarez’s infamous four against Norwich.

Injuries – Jarrod Berry (ankle), Luke Jackson (knee)

Reports – Cameron Rayner (dangerous tackle)

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GWS v Fremantle

What the heck happened to GWS this game?? I’ve always likened them to the Dogs in terms of their Harlem Globetrotter way of scoring, but they just didn’t rock up to this game.

Sam Taylor (149) was a man mountain in defence, taking 12 marks to go along with his 20 touches.

Usual ball magnets, Josh Kelly (83), Stephen Coniglio (71), and Tim Taranto (71) could all only manage just 19 touches, while Lachie Whitfield (79) had just 15.

Harry Himmelberg (84) got off to a slow start but put up a respectable score in the end thankfully.

I thought the return of Nat Fyfe (42) would have impacted Will Brodie (133), but the recruit of the year collected 30 touches and 7 tackles.

Caleb Serong (100) was a standout, as Andy Brayshaw (105) did extremely well to shrug off a tag from Harry Perryman (83)

Injuries – nil.

Reports – nil.

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North Melbourne v Gold Coast

I don’t blame North to be honest. Last game of the season, fighting for the #1 draft pick, and you just can’t wait for next year under the reign of Clarko… Why would you put in any effort?

Hugh Greenwood (123) turned back the clock, while Jy Simpkin (104) and Luke Davies-Uniacke (95) continue to develop into elite midfielders. With Clarko at the helm next year, these two will get even better.

Josh Goater (70) endeared himself to the fans and coaches with a terrific debut performance.

David Swallow (142) will always be remembered by me as the one that got away. I was so close to bringing him in at his basement price and I reckon I chose Pendles instead… Tut tut tut.

Noah Anderson (128) was incredible, and although he was tagged for a brief part of the game, Touk Miller (104) performed admirably but still well below expectation.

Popular trade in, Brandon Ellis (108), found a heap of the footy, but Jarrod Witts’ under par second half of the year ended with just a 90.

Injuries – Sean Lemmens (calf)

Reports – nil.

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Geelong v West Coast

Many expected this to be a blowout, and boy oh boy it sure was.

Let’s just start with Cam Guthrie (55) who was on track for a whopping score until Paddy freakin Dangerfield (64) collided with him and sent poor Cam off cradling his shoulder.

Tom Hawkins (111) booted four goals, while Mark Blicavs (129) dominated in and out of the ruck.

Tom Stewart (106) didn’t get a heappp of the footy, but his intercepting and disposal efficiency boosted his score up past the 100’s.

Shannon Hurn (120) was monstrous with 32 touches and 10 marks, but aside from him, there were really not many notable performances from the Eagles’ boys.

Tim Kelly (118) did get 28 touches and a goal though!

Injuries – Cameron Guthrie (shoulder), Jake Kolodjashnij (concussion), Willie Rioli (unknown)

Reports – nil.

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Essendon v Richmond

What an absolute disaster week the Bombers have had, through no fault but their own of course.

After a few quite weeks, Zach Merrett (150) exploded with 37 touches and 6 tackles alongside his midfield partner in crime, Darcy Parish (103).

Michael Hurley (35) played his first AFL game in two years – and the last of his career – in a very feel-good moment for the sport. He even kicked a goal which really pulled on the heart strings a little bit!

Dion Prestia (117) was his usual little meatball self in the middle, as Tom Lynch (132) booted five goals but was subbed off with an injury in the last quarter which will have Tigers fans stressing.

It was great to see Jayden Short (114) score above 110 for the first team in what feels like forever! I’m definitely not convinced about him next season; we’ll have to wait and see.

Injuries – Jake Stringer (concussion), Tom J. Lynch (unknown)

Reports – nil.

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Port Adelaide v Adelaide

Oh my goodness, Connor Rozee (162)! He was way too inconsistent to consider this year, but if it’s confirmed that he has this midfield role for season 2023, he looms as an absolute must have.

Ollie Wines (137) took us back to his Brownlow year with a terrific 35 disposal performance, and Zac Butters (125) remarkably ended the year with five tons in a row, including three 120+’s.

In the final game of his career, Robbie Gray (86) kicked two goals, and further cemented his status as the Showdown GOAT.

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Reilly O’Brien (160) tore Jeremy Finlayson (34) to shreds in the ruck, recording 50 hit-outs and his second score over 160 this year.

Rory Laird (133) was apparently tagged by Willem Drew (83), but as I said on the podcast the other week, you actually just can’t tag Laird. He still got 10 tackles, 26 touches, and even a goal.

Jordan Dawson (74) let down his owners with a surprisingly poor score, while Ben Keays (46) ended the year with a three-round average of 50.7 lol.

Injuries – Mitch Georgiades (ankle), Jeremy Finlayson (knee), Mitch Hinge (calf)

Reports – nil.

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Hawthorn v Western Bulldogs

This is where the drama of Sunday Arvo Footy began…

James Sicily (134) had 24 touches at half time and looked set for a 200+ score. However, he dried up a little bit, but still finished with a career-high 17 marks.

Big Boy Ben McEvoy (56) played his last game of AFL footy and managed to kick two goals. As a Hawthorn fan, I can’t thank you enough Big Boy xx

Dylan Moore (76) seemed to be back out of the midfield rotation and his scoring heavily reflected that, but Finn Maginness (42) yet again put up a superb effort to nullify both Bailey Smith (63) and Tom Liberatore (74).

Anyone remember Josh Dunkley’s (127) three week stretch back in Round 17 when he had a highest score of just 80? Yeah, me neither. This guy is so good.

We were waiting for the team news to see if Stefan Martin would be out, and good golly he was indeed, making Tim English (102) all the more relevant again.

Marcus Bontempelli (115) did his usual thang, as Adam Treloar (115) looked surprisingly great off half back.

Jack Macrae (99), however, did not look so great on the wing. I personally won’t be touching him with a ten-foot pole next year.

Injuries – Laitham Vandermeer (knee)

Suspensions – nil.

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Carlton v Collingwood

Oh. My. Goodness. Gracious. Me.

The game before was just the start, this was the tip of the iceberg.

To set the scene for those who were living under a rock, the Bulldogs beat Hawthorn, meaning that Carlton HAD to beat Collingwood in front of 90,000 at the ‘G.

Carlton led by 25 points in the last quarter…

Jamie Elliot kicked a goal with a minute and a half left…

Carlton did not win…

Carlton did not make finals…

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In one of the most “leading from the front” style of performances you will ever see, Patrick Cripps (121) was borderline unstoppable; although he did have a costly fumble with just 20 seconds to go.

Sam Docherty (138) again played in the middle and loved it, as did Adam Cerra (139).

Charlie Curnow (98) did all he could to get his team over the line, but he’ll be feeling quite guilty when he looks at the score card and sees five points next to his name.

Josh Daicos (124) and Scott Pendlebury (108) were silky in the midfield, as Darcy Moore (127) and Brayden Maynard (106) will brick walls down back.

Don’t get me started on Jack Crisp (61).

Injuries – nil.

Reports – nil.

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St Kilda v Sydney

Jack Steele (125), who has struggled against the Swans in the past, had 27 touches, 10 marks, 9 tackles, and a goal in a dominant display.

Out of absolutely nowhere, Ben Long (142) took 17 marks on his way to what I assume is a career best SuperCoach score.

Dan Hannebery (109) went out with a bang, with 30 touches and 6 tackles in his final game. What a wonderful career!

Jack Sinclair (118) was tagged by Ryan Clarke but managed to shrug it off and roam relatively free off half back.

Rowan Marshall (64) was extremely quiet, but with the news that Paddy Ryder is retiring, he looks like an immediate lock for next season.

All the Swans boys tend to struggle against the Saints, and this game was no exception.

Callum Mills (93) and Luke Parker (94) all performed below expectations, as Chad Warner (77) was tagged by Marcus Windhager (37).

Isaac Heeney (114) was elite, kicking two goals to go along with 23 touches.

Injuries – Hunter Clark (groin), Josh Battle (concussion), Tom Papley (concussion)

Reports – Ben Long (rough conduct)

Weekly wrap: Round 23 studs, duds, injuries

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