And actually, WTF was I thinking? Because I LITERALLY sing the guy’s praises EVERY SINGLE WEEK in this article, and by God, I’d rather be hungover right now and full of drunken regret trying to find my car, or my friend, or my tooth, or my dignity the night after a bender in Vegas.
So yeah. I missed out on ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-FIVE POINTS.
THREE HUNDRED and seventy points if I’d bought him in and Sir Captained him.
And I hope you had Nicho Hynes in your team, and I hope you put that big old C right smack bang on his glorious head like the golden crown he so deserves.
Because. What. A. Guy.
His team was decimated to just 12 men (at one point ELEVEN men) and there was Nicho like the majestic Prince God that he is, literally playing every role on the field and having a hand in EVERYTHING.
It was quite beautiful to watch our favourite unicorn in action, but also quite depressing to watch our favourite unicorn in action as a non-owning Warriors fan.
I, of course, Sir Captained The Glorious Mullet, who was on track for a fabulous score except for the misfortune of an injury.
And thank you for your service to my team this season my favourite fullback forever. I wish you and your glorious mullet a full and speedy recovery, and you will be back in my team at some point this season, but now I shall move you on for my beautiful new Prince.
Pat and George from Mortgage Choice SCW are experts in all types of loans, so if you’re looking to purchase your first home or chase the lowest refinance rate, call on (02) 9521 1611, mention ‘SC Playbook’ for your FREE tailored expert advice session!
So, before we move on to the Captains, let us first quickly assess the situation this Round.
Which is that it is Magic Round, and as magical as it will be, it is pissing down with rain so hard in Brisbane right now and also in the Gold Coast – and in fact my carport has flooded and I enjoyed a special shoe bath in my new (expensive) suede pointy-toed heels when I got home from work yesterday.
So, a special note that Captains are hard to nail this week, because despite the excellent drainage system of Suncorp Stadium – it’s going to be a bit of a slog-fest in the rain most of the weekend.
But still magical though…just mud and wet and probably a whole lot less points.
Bring your raincoat. And maybe your kayak.
And I cannot understand how not one coach has thought to somehow sneak Luke Bateman out of the Wynnum Manly Seagulls and into their lineup for the swimmi…uhhh the footy…this weekend, because he is a three-time Pan Pacific medallist and has also represented Queensland in the butterfly.
It is a missed opportunity. But hey – I’m not a coach, so what do I know…
Anyway, the driest day is looking like Sunday, which is when our Captain Obvious plays.
And I strongly regard him as the Captain of choice this week. So unless you want to go all poddy because you’ve got a feeling (or you’ve fallen severely behind in the rankings and you want to take a risk) – everybody else is a Vice Captain this week.
And our Captain of choice is of course:
Prince Nicho Hynes!
How could you not Sir Captain our Royal Sir off the back of 185 points?
And how could you not Captain him knowing that Sharks are in fact, v. fast in the ocean, and therefore when Suncorp becomes Queensland’s newest swimming precinct on Sunday, he will, in fact, be in his element swimming up and down and attacking with glee.
He’s also playing the Raiders on Sunday arvo, and playing at fullback.
And a fun stat is that last year in Round 11 when Nicho played fullback for the Storm vs the Raiders, he scored 138 points. Including two try assists, a line-break, and two line-break assists.
Now this year, the Sharks played the Raiders in Round 1, and Prince Nicho scored a decent 72 including a try-assist.
Since then, he’s scored four tons (one almost ton of 97 too) and of course last weekend, he nudged a double ton with 185 points.
Okay and now I am at the rage stage of the emotions, and I am so mad at myself for not getting him in and wow!
If you have Nicho Hynes, just whack the big C on him, sit back, relax, perhaps crack open a nice cold one – and consider it a Captaincy choice well done.
P.S – don’t forget about that time this year he played the Dragons in the pouring down rain and scored 124 points…
Seriously, just bring him in and Captain him friends.
Some other options who you may POD Captain if you must, or Vice-Captain if you are a Prince Nicho Hynes Believer
The Harry Grant Appreciation Society will meet next Tuesday, where we will worship our favourite high-class hooker with the reverence and honour he so deserves.
Harry is averaging 95 points. So far this year, he’s enjoyed nine try assists and crossed the line three times himself. He’s had five linebreaks, multiple line break assists, oh, and made about a million tackles.
Undoubtedly this game against the Panthers is the toughest game of the Storm’s season so far. However, I have no doubt that our man Harry will be up for the challenge, and as such, you may pop a nice VC on him just in case he sends a few of the big men over at the line or burrows over for a meatie or two himself.
He is also a very good surfer. So, you know – should Suncorp Stadium become Brisbane’s answer to Melbourne’s URBNSURF on Saturday night with a nice offshore wind creating some 4 to 6 foot waves – I do believe the NRL’s own Mick Fanning will be right in his element…
Please note: You may also Vice Captain Munster in his game because as a bonafide high-class harasser, he does like to score big against the tough teams…
Okay, I know this section is about Captains, but can we please take a moment for how glorious the other ‘urbo is…okay and yes Burbo too with his 50 tries the other day…but I’m talking about Jurbo.
Jakey T and his glorious thumb. And he is just so perfectly wholesome and nice and proud of his brothers. And by God, he is surely the very nicest man in league and makes the very cockles of my heart go warm like a great big hug.
And did I mention how proud he was of his brothers…?
That is all. Now back to the Captains.
So, I thought I’d look back to last time they played the Broncos (also in Round 10 of last year), and Sir Tommy T did score well, a 119 in fat including two tries and two assists.
And in his first game back from injury last week, he scored a respectable 78 vs the Tigers.
FOLLOW EXCLUSIVE SC PLAYBOOK MARKETS! The crew at Topsport are offering markets picked out by our team of experts, with added value on top every single round. Check them out, anduse the code ‘SCPLAYBOOK’ when signing up.
Whilst he averaged 143 last year, he is averaging just 66 this year.
He also only has a top score of 87 this season.
Plus, it is going to be wet on Friday night. Very, very, very wet. Bucketing down in fact.
And well…it’s just something to consider.
And of course, this will probably backfire on me and he will score a double ton and 50 tries right in front of me at Magic Round, and I will cry and nobody will know I’m crying because my tears will mingle with the rain, and it will be quite poetic and lovely but also very, very sad.
But still. He’s a Vice Captain friends.
We must look at the weather to determine our Captains this weekend. Therefore, our number one choice is of course that beautiful majestic Shark:
Prince Nicho Hynes.
Of course, you may like to pop it on a guy with the potential for a high upside like Tommy T or a solid, safe option like a Papali’i or a Grant.
But I think in the wet and rainy conditions, Grant and Tommy T are way better Vice Captaincy options leading into a Nicho Hynes Captaincy, and only Sir Captain Papali’i if you’re happy with a safe, solid knock.
So, I must go and I’m so sorry she’s a bit shorter this week, but I promise I will spin you a proper Captaincy yarn when I’ve finished moving my house (which is the literal worse task known to man and I would rather pull out my own teeth with a pair of pliers).
Stay tuned for next week’s reality episode titled:
“Dude, Where’s My Car?” in which we will walk down Caxton Street at 5am on Monday morning and interview whoever’s still around milking Magic Round for all it’s worth…
Honey B’s will feature.
Wishing you all a glorious Magic Round! May your Captain score you a ton and your team win, and may your weekend be just…
… or maybe…to be on message with the NRL – so real it’s unreal?
I will be there on Friday night, watching Mr Kotoni Snaggs score a ton for me in the pouring down rain like the beautiful man that he is…