Captain’s Challenge: Round 2, skippers to target and avoid

• SQUAD BREAKDOWN: Analysing the Round 2 NRL teams
• DRAFT BREAKDOWN: Round 2, waiver-wire targets

When Tim asked me to write this, I thought it’d be a breeze – a revolving door of Turbo/Teddy/Lil’ Papi, with a couple of poddy choices thrown in depending on match-ups.

Then Round 1 came in like a wrecking ball, and callously laughed in my face.

Captain Teddy was favoured this week, with 25% of SuperCoachers putting the big C on him.

And in a juicy game against everyone’s favourite pre-season punching bag – the Knights – Teddy looked to be the safest captaincy option.

And for our planning and scheming and efforts we were rewarded with a big old…

64 points.

And nope. That is not a typo. That is 32 plus 32 equals 64 points.

And what the AF???

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Then to rub more salt into our very salty wounds, we get this stat:

In Round 1 of SuperCoach 2022, if you did zilch pre-season research and had zero NRL knowledge, and you played “eenie, meenie, minie, mo which player should I go”, and accidentally did the poddiest pod Captain choice ever, and popped the big C on Mr Ravalawa – you would have been rewarded with a big fat 238 points.

That’s literally more than a quarter of 70% of SuperCoacher’s scores come Monday morning.

Mind. Blown.

BUT we mustn’t let Round 1 stress us out (insert heavy breathing into a brown paper bag here).

No, but seriously. It’s Round 1 and everything is going to be alright. Teams are blowing out the cobwebs, clicking into their combinations, and the points will come. I promise you.

Now that we’ve had Clementine’s Counselling Session – lets hand out some Captain Congratulations.

Congratulations to those who captained Haas, and the 3% who captained Hughes. To the few who captained Mitchell Moses – I’d like to borrow your crystal ball sometime.

Tough luck to the 0.9% who captained Cheese – Even though I didn’t captain him, I still stand in heartbroken solidarity with you.

Now that’s out of the way, without further ado, allow me to present my top Captain choice for Round 2:

George Burgess

Kidding, kidding, kidding (but judging by Round 1 who knows? Half the Panthers and the Saints might get COVID – he might play 80, bust 100 tackles, score 10 tries AND get the kicking…).

Okay, but seriously – here’s some players you can hopefully pop the big C on in Round 2 and potentially come away with a better score than what you’ll find in the darkest corner of Northies at 3am on a Sunday morning:

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Your ‘Safe’ Options

Lil’ Papi

I’m calling Lil’ Papi and his beautiful mullet, the safest captaincy choice of the round. It’s the first game of Round 2, so at least whack the VC on him if you have him, and take advantage of his points scoring frenzy if it comes.

He didn’t have the kicking in Round 1, and the Storm suffered some pretty big injury losses, but he still got a reasonable 71 points in a round that had only three tons.

12% of SuperCoachers captained him last round, and I’d say that figure will significantly increase with people hopping off Big C Teddy.

I will be part of this Teddy to Lil’ Papi Captain migration, as I’m the type of person who takes her $40 winnings and totters off to cash them in the second I lose a round of blackjack on the $5 table – even if I’ve won the previous 10 rounds in a row.

Barring pre-game/mid-game injury (touch wood), Lil’ Papi vs a Rabbitohs side playing an away game and coming off a shock loss to the Broncs, should at least be on par with that score on points.

Throw in the kicking and he might push a hundy.

They’ve suffered a massive lost with big momentum go-forward machines, Smith and Welch, out through injury – but what are the Storm if not resilient?

When the Storm played the Bunnies last year in Round 1, Lil’ Papi scored 124 SC points, including two tries and a try assist.

Plus, this is Bellamy’s 500^th coaching game, and we all know how the Storm rise for a milestone game.

And, glory be to the SuperCoach Gods, Meaney is not named in the starting team. This means Lil’ Papi should be booting those goals over and upping his points.

Be a tiny bit wary though. Latrell is back and the man will be gunning to go. This could be just what the Bunnies need to spark up the team after Round 1’s lacklustre performance.

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David Fifita

David Fifita vs the Warriors, in NZ’s greatest offshore city, The Gold Coast. This is a match up I am dying to see.

A sunny Saturday afternoon, a crowd full of Kiwis, and the vibes across the stadium will be epic. Anyhow, now that I’ve set the scene…

Look, as much as I’m gunning for the Warriors to win, I think Fifita is going to redeem himself after his relatively quiet performance last Sunday vs the Eels.

He scored a modest 60 (half those points racked up in a monster run), but encouragingly, he also played 80 minutes.

He just needs to get some ball and space and you watch him rack up those points again.

In Round 1 last year, he also scored just 60 points against the Warriors (and coming off a slight illness if my memory serves me). Then in Round 2 last year, he scored 105 points against the Broncs including two tries.

Against the Warriors in Round 25, he scored 91 points in 57 minutes including two tries.

Don’t write this guy off as a legitimate captaincy choice this round, especially as the Warriors let in five tries last weekend.

I’m seriously considering a big C on Fifita with the VC on Lil’ Papi.

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Payne Haas

Okay, so all pre-season I had him in my team and then took him out for AFB – and can I please go back to last week Thursday, like right now please.

Because Haas came out like the total boss he is, played 71 minutes, and completely dominated the Bunnies – scoring his SC faithful a massive 91 points.

Last year he enjoyed a 68-point average, and I feel like this year he’ll definitely meet that, if not exceed it.

Barring injury, he will be the number one FRF for the season.

Now, don’t expect him to consistently get this many minutes though.

Kevvie jokingly apologised to the big man during an interview for playing him so long due to an interchange anomaly, and said he’d likely get around 60 – 65 minutes moving forward as his output is better with less minutes.

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Honestly, if you’re struggling with a Captain choice this week and you have the Hassanator, this is clearly a legitimate and safe choice, harking back to the days when your front row was Sir Captain Consistent.

They’re playing the Dogs, and whilst both teams are coming off a euphoric win – I think the Broncs have the edge and Big Haas will also definitely put up a decent knock.

If you Captain him, choose your Vice Captain well – just in case – as this is the last game of the round.

You’d hate a late Haas withdrawal with a Vice Captaincy you’ve randomly popped on just anyone, or for one of your other guns to go big and miss out on their points.

Lil’ Papi or Fifita would be my pick of VC options here.

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The Turbo vs Teddy Showdown

These should really be ‘safe’ options…but SuperCoach, she’s a fickle beast, and after last week, I’m not as confident putting these two in the ‘safe’ category just yet.

Manly are playing the Chooks, who, in what could quite possibly be the biggest upset of the season, were completely decimated by the Knights last weekend.

The Chooks are playing Manly, who failed to spark in attack and went down to some solid Penrith attack and defence.

Playing each other, and with a 0-2 start to the season on the line, I’d expect both to come out swinging.

Now last time these two teams met, it was the second week of the finals, with Turbo putting on a clinic – helping pile 42 points onto an injury ravaged Roosters side – including two tries, a try-assist, and three linebreaks just to himself.

Plus, he got an early mark.

If SuperCoachers were getting points for this game, it would have been 124 points to Turbo vs 72 points to Teddy.

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Is Turbo a Captaincy Option?

Look, everyone knew Manly’s matchup against the Panthers last round was going to be tough.

And the Panthers showed up to the party and held Turbo to a paltry (by his standards) 61 points, (and begrudging congrats also to the 16% who captained him as you got twice as many Sir Captain points as me).

Against the Premiers, his stats included only one linebreak and one try-assist, when normally he’s dishing them out left right and centre.

And THAT pass was at least a half a millimetre forward…but hey I’m not touchy so who am I to lay claim to a forward pass (*whispers like the salty Captain Teddy owner I am – “but it was definitely forward”).

Anyhow, expect a bounce back game from Turbo with more attacking stats. I cannot see him getting stifled two weekends in a row.

He’s playing the late Friday night game, so maybe a Vice Captain option if you have Haas or Fifita?

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Is Teddy a Captaincy Option?

Oh Teddy. Why’d you do me dirty like this?

From the set and forget bacon in my bacon and egg roll, to the piece of vegan bacon left over the morning after Vaughany’s BBQ – Teddy and the Chooks just did not perform last week.

Is Round 2 when Teddy’s (current) 38% ownership will start getting rewarded with Teddy points? We shall see.

There were a couple of attacking opportunities that went begging in the game last weekend, and if they’d pulled them off – it could’ve changed the fortunes of those who captained him.

For Teddy to go big, I really think the whole team needs to click together.

And while I think they definitely will, and you definitely shouldn’t panic if you have a whole bunch of Roosters in your team, I’m avoiding Teddy as my team’s Big C or VC this week, as I’d rather put my VC on Lil’ Papi.

But the Chooks might just click and Teddy might pull out a ton – go with your gut friend.

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This Week’s Captaincy POD

Latrell Mitchell

He’s back baby, and I’d expect the Bunnies to rise and play a heck of a lot better than their dismal Round 1 showing, with big Mitchell back in the team and rearing to go.

Owned by just 2% of teams at time of writing, this could be the ultimate POD captaincy choice.

He’ll also have the kicking, which makes him even more of a juicy Sir Captain Temptation.

Obviously, the 2022 Bunnies are not quite the 2021 Bunnies just yet, and they’re playing the Storm in Melbourne. But the return of Latrell may just be the spark they need.

Latrell played the Storm in Round 1 last year, for a massive 117 SuperCoach points – including a try, a try-assist, and two linebreaks.

Go with your gut, and if your gut says (Vice) Captain Latrell, who am I to tell you no.

(Vice) Captain Risky Pick of the Week

What is life without an element of risk (says the girl who plays the $5 blackjack table).

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Hughes or Munster or Grant

Okay, so first allow me to go out on a tangent with a sad backstory filled with longing and regret.

The great Hughes was also actually in my SuperCoach team almost all pre-season. Then I swapped him, and my heart broke into a million pieces when I checked my SuperCoach score somewhere between my 3^rd and 4^th cocktail on a dinner date in Byron Bay, and realised I’d royally screwed myself over.

Anywho…I take everything I said about heart choices back. (P.S the espresso martinis at Balcony Bar in Byron Bay are epic. Plus, they’re $12 from 9.30pm to midnight – and #thisisnotapaidpartnership I’ll leave that to worst show on Netflix, Byron Baes). 

He’s a very risky, yet legitimate, Vice Captaincy choice if you have him. He completely took that injury-ravaged game by the horns and dominated, scoring 103 SC points including a try, try contribution, and two linebreaks.

I do think the Bunnies plus Latrell are going to be a tougher prospect than the Tigers. And last year vs the Bunnies was a bit of a mixed bag for Hughes with 40 points in a quiet game vs them in Round 1 (including a try assist) and 103 points – including a try and two try assists, vs them in Round 9.

Playing the first game of the round, you’d be safest popping the Vice Captaincy on him if you have a special feeling that he’s going to go large.

Proceed with caution, but God I wish I’d got him. This may be my biggest SC regret of the season.

P.S you could also pop the Vice Captaincy on Munster or Grant in this game. I’d prefer to see them play a round first, and Lil’ Papi would be my first choice Vice Captain in this game…but you def have options here.

Do Not Go There

That random winger you’re going to Captain thinking he’s going to do a Ravalawa. Actually, on that note – Ravalawa. Dragons are playing Penrith, I can’t see a Ravalawa hattrick happening again.

Don’t chase last week’s points kids.

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Verdict

Honestly, this week’s Captaincy is hard to call, because after the Round 1 carnage it’s not as black and white as I thought it’d be.

I’m still calling Lil’ Papi as your safest option, at least to Vice Captain if you have an NPR on your bench, but there’s plenty of juicy POD options that could come through for you too.

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Teddy or Turbo or both go massive in their game. So, if you’ve got your heart set on one of them, don’t let me put you off – I’d hate you to miss out on a Tommy T try scoring frenzy.

Just be prepared for the points to not get quite as high as last season.

Latrell (if you have him), is also an incredibly juicy prospect to me, as is Fifita (as long as he gets some ball and isn’t constantly used as the decoy).

So, there you have it. My very first Clementine’s Captain Choice for 2022. Don’t hold it against me if big Ravalawa comes out and scores a double ton and Lil’ Papi drops the ball 10 times over the line. Season 2022 has already proved she is a new kind of evil…

Go with your gut, and may your Captain score a ton and your team stay healthy…

Clementine x